Tattle Life and the Excuses We Make

18 months ago, I became aware of Tattle Life. I was getting ready to do a podcast that explored online celebrity culture, forums and pouring our hearts out for #content. The podcast was never published and I’m glad because my opinions have pretty dramatically changed.

Tattle Life, if you didn’t know, is a forum for people to speak about all manner of on and offline celebrities. Everything from Zoe Sugg to Phillip Schofield. Most people don’t name it when speaking about it in favour of not driving traffic to them but just by speaking about them, you do. They’re very easy to find.

So in theory, I don’t mind this. I want to be able to speak about the youtuber drama I’ve once again found myself sucked into in a place where the comments are organised by first to last and not most popular first. I do agree that if you put yourself out there, you should expect criticism and if you specifically profit from people’s interest in you, it should follow that their interest will be more than incidental. There’s also the (admittedly feeble) argument I make which is that I work in digital marketing and I’m very interested in who is and isn’t declaring sponsored content. But you don’t have to go to Tattle Life to learn about this or discuss it. It’s a hot topic. Well, it is in my circles.

One thing I’ve noticed about humanity is that we’re always waiting for the excuse to be horrible. We don’t realise it. I’m sure most people would describe themselves as decent. I would. But the thing about going on Tattle Life, about posting on there, is that you’re outright not being decent. And excuses can be and often are made. Yes, you’re not a great person for visiting the site but at least you’re not the one scamming fans, right? The website enables a kind of viciousness that people allow themselves once they’ve successfully dehumanised somebody. Be good to each other but only if it’s within your own moral compass but once somebody has left that, they have no rights to being treated humanely it seems.

This isn’t me saying that all of the website is this or that all criticisms levied towards somebody are “trolling”. Influencers can be powerful, they do have the potential to spread harmful misinformation and anybody with this kind of power and influence should absolutely be held to account. On Tattle Life, though, you find that this holding to account very quickly spirals into trying to find addresses, more information about people. It spirals into insulting appearances and behaviours of even very young children. It’s what they allow themselves to do under the guise of “holding to account”.

The holding to account thing is very easy to buy into. When I was interviewed for that podcast, I said that forums like Tattle Life are essential for this kind of accountability. I’d never posted on there at this point and when I did post on there eventually, it was to defend somebody. They were looking for this woman’s address, her workplace, her kids’ schools. Defending her had me banned from the site. If you want to defend people, you go to a forum specifically for hyping people up. Negativity and dangerous assumptions on the main forums only.

The repeated mantra on there is “if you don’t like what we’re saying, don’t read it”. This, again, is covering their own backs. Thankfully I am not and never will be famous enough to have my own thread but as a human that would like to know what people think of me, I can guarantee that I would never be able to stop looking at my own thread.

I can’t look away, though. It is FASCINATING how much these people hate celebrities. Instagrammers. They watch their Instagram just to get angry at their stories. I’m going to remain honest in this and tell you that I’m partial to an occasional hatestalk but if I found myself watching people’s stories religiously just to get pissed off about the specific dog food brand a stranger’s dog was eating, I’d speak to my doctor about upping my antidepressants.

So, what do we do?

Well, for one, pretending it doesn’t exist or have a name doesn’t seem to be working so if we can stop the JK Rowling approach, that’d be a great start. I think if you are posting on there, it’s worth critically analysing why you think it’s necessary. If you knew that this person was reading your comments alone, in bed, on a sleepless night, would you still want them to read them?

There is also a huge question of what gives us the right? Yes, influencers should be held accountable but on this level, with no way to respond (because they’ll be banned) and just accepting this torrent of abuse, lies and stalking? No job demands this. It’s an incredibly cruel thing to expect people to tolerate.

There are already businesses dedicated to holding influencers accountable. Like the Advertising Standards Agency who have strict regulations specifically for people who work as content creators and influencers. If you are worried about transparency or people being dishonest about being given items and experiences for free, you can report them directly.

Finally, stop making excuses. Own it. If you use the site, if you read the forums, own what you’re doing and hold yourself accountable the way that you purport to be doing for others.

If you’re worried about the impact Tattle Life is having on others and would like to join the petition to have the website taken down, you can sign it here.

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